New Parenting

The concept of "New Parenting" is something that I have come up with over the last few years.  This concept is the idea that the methods of parenting that we as parents were raised on, are no longer effective when dealing with a new idea of what childhood has become.  When I was growing up, video games were just beginning to blow up, but in order to hang out with friends you needed to get on your bike and meet up with the gang at the park.  The entire day your parents trusted that you were alive and making smart decisions on where to go and what you are doing. 

Today's world is not at all close to that.  The world now has become a constant stream of information overload, sandwiched between moments of fleeting social interaction.  I sometimes look at my son's and think about all of things that they have going on in their lives, and it's a wonder that they are ever able to function with the amount of stimulation around them.  I get frustrated with the fact that they are constantly on the move and seem to never settle down.  I forget at times that for them it is normal and actually necessary for them to adapt to the world we live in.  If I was to try and force them into my idea of what they should be doing, chances are that they would actually be left behind in today's society.  The world has transformed into a constant motion, never ending information cycle.  This has conditioned our children to also be in constant motion and be multitasking from the time they wake up until the time they go to sleep at night.

Watching my son's throughout the day it is amazing to me the amount of energy that they expend every minute.  Both of my children are able to have a conversation, play on a tablet, watch their favorite show, and still be upset when I move their favorite toy from the floor to the toy box, because they are "playing with that."  This behavior can be the most beautiful and most frustrating thing in the entire realm of raising a child.  It's beautiful because of the effort that goes into being on that level day after day.  Frustrating because of the fact that at times it literally feels like if I was to talk to the wall, more would be heard and more would be accomplished.

This is where the entire concept of "New Parenting" comes into play.  I am horrible at this currently, but I see the need to adjust my expecations and my idea of how a child should act and behave.  The idea that children should blindly follow instructions and do as they are told without questions is dying.  This is not the way of the world today.  So, I have to ask myself, what is my job as a father?  It is to prepare my son's for the world ahead and make them the most successful, innovative leaders they can be.  What kind of example am I setting if I expect them to blindly follow orders I throw out, but then expect them to be leaders.  I need to embrace their ability to question the status quo, and their challenge what they feel needs challenging.

This concept is easy to understand, but damn near impossible to implement.  The reward is right there for the taking, and although it is going to be difficult to change, the lives and successes of my two blessings is worth the frustration and aggravation.

As always be amazing and remember...you are the difference between a smile and a frown, so be the reason the smile.

The Beginning

So, this is my first blog post since...well EVER!  I have a ton of built up information that I just wish I could put it all into words.  This is the beginning to what I hope is my outlet for all of this craziness that I call life...So, here goes nothing...

Since as long as I can remember all I ever wanted to do in life was be a father.  I grew up in an all too familiar dynamic now-a-days, my biological father had left my mother when I was less than a year old, and I was raised by a man that I looked at as a hero.  He was tough...he loved tough, spoke tough, and man did he discipline tough.  Throughout my childhood, I spent majority of my time with my "Dad".  That was something I always cherished, and something I always told myself that I would make sure I did with my son.  What I didn't know was that along with hanging out, I was soaking in all of the negative things that at 10 or 11 you don't even recognize.  Looking back now, I see where I get my short temper, my inability to handle stress, my bad eating habits, and a million other things that I wish I wouldn't be passing on to my sons.  I love my Dad, and there are hundreds of things from back then that I would be lucky to pass on, but the problem is that at the moment I find myself doing more of the things I wish I had never seen.

I never wanted to be the Dad that busted his kids ass for acting up.  Even now, I still don't want to do it.  I sit and think about changing my way of handling issues, but for some reason it seems to always go back to a spanking.  I try hard to be patient, but everytime something seems to click in me and I revert right back into what I know.  I am a very loving father, and I want to give my son's the world.  On the flip side, I'm sure my son's would tell you that I am tough...I love tough, I speak tough, and man do I discipline tough...of all the things I wanted to learn from my Dad, the things that are seeming to define me are the things I liked the least about being a kid.

Here's hoping for a new outlook.  Stay amazing and remember...you are the difference between a smile and a frown, so be the reason they smile.

Deuces

D